We all know that giving compliments makes us and others feel good. But I stop to wonder, what makes a really great compliment?

   In the spirit of personal development and working on my attitude of gratitude, I'll start my inquisitive mind at the dictionary. So what is a compliment exactly?

compliment (n)

1. An expression of praise, admiration, or congratulation.

It looks like compliments are all subjective, but more importantly it's subjective to the person you're complimenting, not what you think is praise, admiration or congratulation. This brings me to the first aspect of good compliments: empathy and insight. 

empathy (n)

1. Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings and motives.

and

insight (n)

1. The capacity to discern the true nature of the situation.

Knowing this, compliments show an understanding of another person's situation, feelings and motives as well as the true nature of the situation.

   For example, in the scenario of a funeral crasher sobbing his eyes out, like in Wedding Crashers as played by Will Ferrell. The incorrect compliment would be to express condolences. The correct compliment would be to say something about his performance and having two pretty females around him. Never mind what the correct action should be.

  So a good compliment has elements of both empathy and insight. How about delivering the compliment? Just like any impactful statement, it has its support. Express the compliment with something specific and support it with a fact.

"You have really great posture. I noticed you above the crowd from far away"

versus

"You look great"

   Optionally, you can follow up with a question to open a conversation. Having a conversation is great when positive attitude exists on both sides. The "how do you do that?" question is a great one.

   So there you have it. Great compliments express empathy and insight by saying something specific and supporting that statement. And follow up with a question to entice a conversation.