reply to intj forum

By James Kim 

I was reading around to see what the natural romantic preference is to the INTJ type. There seems to be some sort of dimension missing, because I see various responses. If INTJs are my perfect match, would any random INTJ in the world work? (the ENTP/ENFP was said to be shown from data, http://personalitypage.com/partners.html)

For myself, as an arbitrary starting point..

INTJ + philosophy {ethics, metaphysics, epistemology, logic} = me
where
ethics = what is the good life or right conduct
epistemology = what counts as genuine knowledge
logic = correct principles of reasoning
metaphysics = what sorts things exist and what are the essential natures

We can now ask the question, would I find a better match based on MBTI or philosophy?

Would I like a compatible MBTI with an incompatible philosophy
or
an incompatible MBTI with a compatible philosophy?

I think I would choose the latter.

There might be some loose correlations between philosophy and MBTI (this combo was gnawing at me for a while so I'm taking a shot at combining these two).
ethics : E vs I :: orientation to life, energy
epistemology : S vs N :: how to perceive information
logic : T vs F :: how to make decisions or come to conclusions
metaphysics : J vs P :: how to organize the world

hence:
one's ethics is determined by extrovertedness or introvertedness
one's epistemology is determined by sensing or intuition
one's logic is determined by thinking or feeling
one's metaphysics is determined by judging or perceiving

Assuming that all parties involved are wise defined by (http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/wisdom/):

S is wise iff:
1. S has extensive factual and theoretical knowledge
2. S knows how to live well
3. S is successful at living well
4. S has very few unjustified beliefs

There seems to be a correlation between one's MBTI type and one's philosophy. Is it a surprise that stoicism might interest NTs? Would there be a surprise that hedonism attracts ESFPs or the SP temperment? Would an INTJ and an ESFP have a wonderful relationship? sure but I think that their philosophies will have to be compatible, not necessarily the same.

So it might be said that MBTI is a subset of one's philosophy. Matching purely on MBTI would oversimplify the process with too many things left out. Am I wrong? probably, but the real question is, Am I completely wrong?... Let me know what you think as I'm still a student in both philosophical and MBTI matters.

So to answer the original question: I don't know which one is the better match for INTJ. To further the thought, are you looking for a good MBTI match or a good partner? :D I personally use MBTI as a interpersonal interpretation tool: a "me to them" converter/translator. I try not to use MBTI as a selection criteria.

Another vantage point is in regards to the intent of the relationship. If it's for family, sexual experimentation, peace corps, etc different personality types have natural preferences to make things easier, not impossible. It is also possible for INTJs to assume the role of any other of the 15 MBTI types, it's just not very natural to us. On the note of assuming different types, as we grow and mature, we develop different aspects of our type. http://www.personalitypage.com/development.html Just food for thought.

Thanks for your attention

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